if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
