moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
