Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
