toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
