it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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