he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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