I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
