Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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