I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
