Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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