I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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