Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
