Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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