She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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