so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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