Kiss
Puke
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
