i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
