He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
