She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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