? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it was like eating out sand paper
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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