What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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