oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
