I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
