garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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