she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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