yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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