I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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