So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
