420 ftw
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
