I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
