We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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