dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
