Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
