I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
