what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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