we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
