Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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