He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
high people should be assigned attendants
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
