that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize