Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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