I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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