If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize