I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
