ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
