Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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