Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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