Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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