He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
