I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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