Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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