Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
