Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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