what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you win again, gameday.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
