You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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