did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
