why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
