whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
