If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
