gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
