I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Found the puke drawer
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
