Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize