He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
