you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
