My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
